Quest Accepted: Pack for Winter Camp

So, I usually try to write stories with as broad of an appeal as possible. Well not today! This story will only be funny to my fellow WoW dorks (Motto: "We make crackheads look like productive members of society")...if you are one of those, enjoy.

I came home from work absolutely starving. But it occured to me, as I sat in traffic slowly dying of hunger, that if i didn't pack for the upcoming youth group retreat when I got home, I would be naked all weekend. Which would cause me to take some serious frost damage.

Before I got into any of the actual packing, I decided the most prudent course of action would be to eat something and NOT pass out on my backpack. So I ate some cheese.
Restores 263 health over 21 seconds.

I walked into the bathroom to fetch my toothbrush and there, sitting atop my roll of toilet paper is a giant smirking spider!
Jill attempts to run away in fear.
How on earth am I supposed to grab a wab of t.p., squash it and flush it if it's sitting right on the first step of that plan?????
Jill becomes enraged.
I'll admit it, I made quite a few yipping fear noises while I stared at it and wondered what to do.
Power word: fortitude.
I pinched the hanging end of the paper with no more than 3 molecules of finger and brought it up to squash the offending life form. FLUSH.
158 XP earned.