The Life of Liz

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ~Anne Frank

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Laughter is the best medicine (unless you need antibiotics)

My friend Becky lent me a book called The Snark Handbook. As you might imagine, I enjoyed it thoroughly! For your reading enjoyment, I present to you my favorites from the book:

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I
was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No
good in an bed, but fine against a wall."
~Eleanor Roosevelt

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
~Groucho Marx

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is
a woman giving birth to a child. She must be
found and stopped.
~Sam Levenson

There is no I in team. But there are four in platitude
quoting idiot.
~
Unknown

Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
~William Safire

I don't like people who take drugs.
Customs mem for example.
~Mick Miller

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not,
we would have people standing in the corners of our living rooms.
~Alan Corenk

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably
easier to write with.
~Marty Feldman

She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the
powerful breaststroke of a channel swimmer, made her
confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious.
~W. Somerset Maugham

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.
It should be thrown with great force.
~Dorothy Parker

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, To Kill a
Mockingbird,
and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to
kill mockingbirds! Sure, it taught me not to judge a man by
the color of his skin...but what good does that do me?
~Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

Skiing, n. The art of catching cold and going broke
while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk.
~Unknown

I say to the gun owner who owns an AK-47, if it
takes a hundred rounds to bring down a deer,
maybe hunting isn't your sport.
~Ellen Degeneres

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more
than standing in a garage makes you a car.
~
Unknown

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice
letter saying I approved of it.
~Mark Twain

2 comments:

Pammy January 8, 2010 at 8:46:00 AM MST  

Love these...especially the Eleanor Roosevelt one and the one about Church

Sabba and Nanny January 9, 2010 at 8:01:00 PM MST  

Love this post. Too many favorites here for me to choose. I do like the word snark, which can be seen as a portmanteau word for "snide remark" in tribute to Lewis Carroll, who invented the word in 1876 in The Hunting of the Snark (although it was an imaginary animal in that context).

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A brand new mom trying to navigate the crazy world of mixed families, babies, and working full time. Phew! Just writing that makes me want to lie down.

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