For the Road

My fabulous co-workers presented me with a giant box of gifts to help me on my way in Managua.  They were so thoughtful an stinkin' hilarious, I had to share.

1. Homemade snake repellent for sprinkling

2. A bottle of anti-snake spray in case #1 didn't work.  Comes with a warning label: If product is not effective in less than 2 seconds, throw the bottle at the snake and run like hell.

3. A stuffed iguana to replace my cat

4. Sunscreen stick. 

5. A rockies poncho for when it rains 10" in one day

6. Flushable moist wipes for pooing emergancies

7. Pepto Bismol for too much spicy food

8. Imodium in case of too many mangos

9. A bag of skittles

10. A chocolate bar

11. Extra-strength deodorant because "we heard it can reach 120 F, let us know if you need more, we don't want you to be un-popular.

12. Pre-addressed envelopes and cards.  The cards are pre-printed with check boxes in case I need information about the Rockies/Broncos/Nuggets/My Cat/Tim Tebow/A Picture of the Copy Machine/etc.

13. A Rubber Machete

14. A stick to shake at monkeys, and information about howler monkeys.

15. Anti-malaria tonic (a/k/a gin)

16. A bag of jerky for when I get tired of fish

17. A homemade insect trap which smells STRONGLY

18. Marked up memo, in case I start to miss my job

19. Ten Things You Will Never Hear Again - my least favorite things to do at work, in case I feel like my new job is worse than my old one.

20. Anti-frizz harispray for the humidity

21. Hair glue, in case the hairspray fails

22.  A bandanna - in case both the glue and the spray fail.

23.  A product that can be hard to find in Nicargua as only loose women use them (tampons)

24. Giant glasses to disguise me when I go buy loose women products.

25. Rockies salt and pepper shakers ("we don't know what these are for - an impulse purchase)

26. Some money to get me through the airport.

Soooooooo awesome! Best.Present.Ever.  I'm gonna miss you guys!