Lend Me Some Sugar, I Am Your Neighbor
On Too Much Time:
I have way too much time on my hands. While this was nice when I was sick and didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything at all, now that I am once again in fighting form it sucks beyond all reason. Mostly, it’s a little frightening where my mind wanders when it has absolutely nothing else to occupy it all bleeding day. Today, for example, I was seriously pondering the following: beets are sweet and we have beet sugar; corn is sweet and we have corn sugar. But onions are also sweet, why don’t we have onion sugar?
Seriously.
On Language:
I mentioned some time ago my little trick of pronouncing English words as if they were Spanish in the hopes that someone would recognize it and provide me with the correct Spanish word. As it turns out, the reverse also works. Occasionally, I will hear a new word that I do not understand and I will rearrange it in my head to pronounce it as if it were in English (I mean I occasionally do this, not that I occasionally hear words I don’t understand, that thing happens about once every five seconds). The other day, Elí and I were puttering around the kitchen and he said a rather long word that I couldn’t quite figure out. But I knew we were talking about mice so I ran it through my special English filter and figured out he was saying “leptospirosis.” Yeah, it’s all romance with us…
On Shock and Horror:
If you are reading this and happen to be a guy, you probably aren’t going to care much about this section. But if you are blessed with two x chromosomes, then I would like to share with you my tale of woe. For many reasons, such as excessively high temperature and low levels of laundry skills, I currently find myself with only one working bra. Obviously, this is a problem, so I went to the largest mall in Nicaragua to buy a new one or two. It’s not a huge complex or anything, but it is a proper mall; it has a food court and escalators. Imagine my shock and horror one finding out that in all the stores in the entirety of this mall, bras only come in one size. Wha?
How is that even possible? All the clothes come in multiple sizes on the off chance that people aren’t all identical. Why doesn’t this policy extend to undergarments? Still reeling from this unexpected and stunning shopping defeat, I remain the owner of but one functional bra. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing to do when this one wears out. I am open to any suggestions that do not involve my ace bandage.
More On Language:
As I get more familiar with Spanish, I am discovering little phrases that are simply so much more awesome in Spanish than they are in English. Two of my current favorites are tengo pereza and tirar pedos. Tengo pereza doesn’t translate super well but it means “I have the lazies.” It’s brilliant! It perfectly describes the feeling of disinclination to accomplish anything without having to resort to using French (as in Mom, I have the ennui). Tirar pedos, on the other hand, literally translates as “to throw farts.” Tell me that doesn’t make you chuckle just a little bit. Excuse me, I have to throw a fart. Must be all that onion sugar.
I have way too much time on my hands. While this was nice when I was sick and didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything at all, now that I am once again in fighting form it sucks beyond all reason. Mostly, it’s a little frightening where my mind wanders when it has absolutely nothing else to occupy it all bleeding day. Today, for example, I was seriously pondering the following: beets are sweet and we have beet sugar; corn is sweet and we have corn sugar. But onions are also sweet, why don’t we have onion sugar?
Seriously.
On Language:
I mentioned some time ago my little trick of pronouncing English words as if they were Spanish in the hopes that someone would recognize it and provide me with the correct Spanish word. As it turns out, the reverse also works. Occasionally, I will hear a new word that I do not understand and I will rearrange it in my head to pronounce it as if it were in English (I mean I occasionally do this, not that I occasionally hear words I don’t understand, that thing happens about once every five seconds). The other day, Elí and I were puttering around the kitchen and he said a rather long word that I couldn’t quite figure out. But I knew we were talking about mice so I ran it through my special English filter and figured out he was saying “leptospirosis.” Yeah, it’s all romance with us…
On Shock and Horror:
If you are reading this and happen to be a guy, you probably aren’t going to care much about this section. But if you are blessed with two x chromosomes, then I would like to share with you my tale of woe. For many reasons, such as excessively high temperature and low levels of laundry skills, I currently find myself with only one working bra. Obviously, this is a problem, so I went to the largest mall in Nicaragua to buy a new one or two. It’s not a huge complex or anything, but it is a proper mall; it has a food court and escalators. Imagine my shock and horror one finding out that in all the stores in the entirety of this mall, bras only come in one size. Wha?
How is that even possible? All the clothes come in multiple sizes on the off chance that people aren’t all identical. Why doesn’t this policy extend to undergarments? Still reeling from this unexpected and stunning shopping defeat, I remain the owner of but one functional bra. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing to do when this one wears out. I am open to any suggestions that do not involve my ace bandage.
More On Language:
As I get more familiar with Spanish, I am discovering little phrases that are simply so much more awesome in Spanish than they are in English. Two of my current favorites are tengo pereza and tirar pedos. Tengo pereza doesn’t translate super well but it means “I have the lazies.” It’s brilliant! It perfectly describes the feeling of disinclination to accomplish anything without having to resort to using French (as in Mom, I have the ennui). Tirar pedos, on the other hand, literally translates as “to throw farts.” Tell me that doesn’t make you chuckle just a little bit. Excuse me, I have to throw a fart. Must be all that onion sugar.
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5 comments:
I am gobsmacked about the bras. Just completely fatootsed.
Oh, and the onion sugar thing - you can carmelize onions, so clearly they have sugar in them.
Tiro pedos en su dirección general.
Not knowing the state of the unworking bras...it is hard to think of any good suggestions...so that only one that come to mind is "pins John" :-)
Pins John? Sadly, I don't think I could provide much support for Liz's bra situation. (pun intended) :)
Pammy, you need to show John the movie 1776 so he gets your reference. Unfortunately, if they embargo food at the border, I imagine a bra would get "held up" as well!
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