The Life of Liz

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ~Anne Frank

Monday, November 27, 2006

A few months ago I flew in to St. Louis, MO to surprise my mom and take her to a Cardinals game as an early Mother's Day present. (seriously, who wants to adopt me right now????) But that story will have to wait for another blog because this one is about my butt.

I sat down in the computer chair to check my email and so forth, and bits of the seat were unusually cold. Apparently, my right butt cheek had declared war on my pants. Seeing it was outmatched, my back pocket fled in despair, leaving a 2" long x 1/2" wide gap in my jeans. Score.

My first thought was AAAAAAAAHHH, these are the only pair of pants I brought!!!!! So my sister gave me a skirt of hers that was too...well sack-like on her (Pam is a size 2. I am a size not 2). No sooner was that problem solved when I got to the thought you may have already come to: "When did this happen?"

Did I flash my fanny around to half of Denver and the entire Law Department at Monsanto???????? Oh dear Christ!
The answer is, I don't know, but probably.
So the real moral of this story, dear children, is actually straight out of Genesis. "And the LORD saith to Abram, 'Get thee out of thy county and from thy kindred and from thy father's house unto a land that I shall show thee. And don't forget to pack thee a spare pair of pants.'"

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A brand new mom trying to navigate the crazy world of mixed families, babies, and working full time. Phew! Just writing that makes me want to lie down.

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