The Life of Liz

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ~Anne Frank

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Who's Pants Are These Anyway?

On Work:

In the last installment of this blog, my sore, bruised, spaghetti arms had just finished stowing 1,188 boxes in the Loma Linda warehouse (during the proofing phase of writing this, I noticed that sentence makes it look a lot like I, personally, carried that many boxes, which is laughably untrue). Since then I’ve begun the reverse process of carrying various amounts of boxes back down the hill (which appears to have gotten steeper with each passing day…) into the waiting vehicle of one of the 15 pastors. At the moment, my job is a mix of careful accounting and sculpting my arm muscles. I spent the entire morning today hauling boxes and vigorously doing laundry while I waited for another pastor to arrive. By noon even my fork felt heavy.

Sometimes mission work is the super spiritual thing we all expect it to be, but those moments are, honestly, pretty rare. Maybe I’m doing it wrong, but for me, being the hands and feet of Jesus looks a lot more like a tired, sweaty person trying to muster up the energy to take a shower. Actually, I don’t think I’m doing it wrong at all; if I wanted glamor, I’d need a different kind of God.

On Pants:

The plus side of all this exercise is my quickly dwindling self. Absolutely none of my clothes fit very well. Even my calzones are huge on me. It’s like that scene in Alice in Wonderland when she drinks the bottle labeled “Drink Me” (or maybe eats the cake?) and is suddenly tiny and drowning in her silly blue dress. Ok, maybe I exaggerate somewhat. But the fact remains that I needed some pants that would reliably stay on my body and not succumb to the cruel whims of gravity. I’ve needed to get new pants for some time now but have been putting it off for a number of reasons. I really hate shopping and wanted to wait as long as possible lest I be forced to re-buy pants in a couple months after I shrink some more. So as it turns out, the number of reasons was one.

Anyhow, I went to Plaza Inter, the mall/important landmark for me when I take public transportation, with Danelia in search of pants. It was a strange experience; I was barely involved. We walked in the store, Danelia took a wild stab at what size I might be (the sizes rarely conform to standard American sizes), selected a pair of light jeans and a pair of dark jeans, I paid for them and we left. It would be pretty generous to say that five whole minutes had passed. I didn’t try on the pants until we got home but miracle of miracles, they fit!! I am now the proud owner of two pairs of skinny jeans.

Perhaps you are thinking to yourself, but Liz, you hate skinny jeans, you have copiously mocked people (particularly Toby) who wear skinny jeans. Well my friend, tienes raz√≥n. I still think men wearing skinny jeans is a crime against nature, God, and my eyes. However, every woman in Nicaragua wears skinny jeans, and I feel it is important to adopt the local culture where appropriate. Also, I have a nice butt again…

On English:

People really like to speak English to me. And here, I am using the idea of “English” really quite loosely. Often, I find myself thinking that it would be easier if they would just say what they’re trying to say in Spanish. Por ejemplo, last night, Isidro was saying something about his “ay-es” and I was all, wha? “Ay-es,” he said, “Ojos.” I guess that is, phonetically speaking, how you would pronounce “eyes.” 

It’s always really amusing to me what people want to know how to say in English. For instance, today, I taught various people, by request, how to say, “I am a horse” and “I have to pee.” And if you can read that sentence without cracking up laughing as I am doing right now, then frankly, you are probably not as tired as I am.


Maeve's Momma April 6, 2011 at 8:11:00 PM MDT  

I'm sure your biceps will be super amazing! And I'm hoping you'll soon post pics of your new jeans, and your new butt inside your new jeans. :D

Bonnie April 7, 2011 at 12:02:00 AM MDT  

i am leaving a comment because as a fellow blogger, i know how fun it is to see comments on your blog posts !

photos ?

skinny jean photos ...

Mrs. Wallace April 7, 2011 at 9:36:00 AM MDT  

I'm with Bonnie on the need for photos....

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A brand new mom trying to navigate the crazy world of mixed families, babies, and working full time. Phew! Just writing that makes me want to lie down.


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