This Familiar Alien Land
On Coming Back to the States:
I've written and re-written this paragraph several times now to no avail! (This is also sadly day 2 of trying to write this stupid thing...) I just don't know how to describe what it's like to be back in this familiar alien land.
For one thing, it's really cold. In fact, the hotter it is outside, the colder I am. People really crank up their air conditioning and my body has completely shut off the part of itself responsible for warming me (that makes it sound like I used to be a self-heating entity; so laughably not true). So I spend a great deal of time shivering and turning slightly purple while everyone around complains of the record heat.
Maybe that example helps illustrate the overwhelming sense of displacement I feel everywhere I go: while everyone is miserably hot and sweating, I am freezing to death. My world has tilted and normal has slid off the table like greasy bologna.
This isn't to say that I haven't had a lot of fun while I've been here. It was great seeing all my friends in Denver, going wedding shopping (parts I-III!), hanging out with all my Alleys at the family reunion, being there for the birth of Angelica's third baby, going to baseball games (which both my teams rudely lost), and of course, the epic Pie-fest with the Coblentzs. I've also accomplished a lot of things that needed doing, like stocking up on supplies, buying clothes that actually fit new skinny me, getting my I-130 Petition act together.
But still...I want to go home.
Do I fit any better in Managua than I do in the States? Haha, are you kidding me? I'm a freakishly tall white girl! But it doesn't really matter. My home is a person, my alma gemela. In this disorienting space of trying to deal with reverse culture shock and crazy wedding stress, so often I feel like I'm floundering, but he anchors me to reality. All the things that don't exist for me in Nicaragua - hot showers, caramel lattes, personal safety - retreat down the rankings of importance.
On Wedding Plans:
Some of you may be wondering how the wedding plans are going. Well, I will tell you: I am also wondering that thing. As it turns out, I am only marginally involved in the planning effort.
I was under the impression before I left that everything was basically under control. If only I was ever right about anything... About six weeks before the Big Day Eli developed a strong dislike for our plans and started rethinking a few details, specifically: all of them (except his choice of bride). This would have been fine if he were marrying, for example, another man. But he is not; he is marrying a woman who became very grumpy.
It's hard to throttle someone over skype but I gave it a shot.
Fortunately (nine fights later), I remembered that I don't actually HAVE strong opinions about most of the details and there was no compelling reason to continue turning into a drooling, evil-eyed lunatic. So I gave my beloved a list of three things I couldn't live without (#2: you must wear a tie...) and a heartfelt plea not to let anyone decorate with glitter; then I turned him loose. He enlisted the help of one of his brothers and according to my sources, many things of an unspecified yet positive nature have been accomplished. That's right, my wedding is being planned by two straight men.
Yup.
I've written and re-written this paragraph several times now to no avail! (This is also sadly day 2 of trying to write this stupid thing...) I just don't know how to describe what it's like to be back in this familiar alien land.
For one thing, it's really cold. In fact, the hotter it is outside, the colder I am. People really crank up their air conditioning and my body has completely shut off the part of itself responsible for warming me (that makes it sound like I used to be a self-heating entity; so laughably not true). So I spend a great deal of time shivering and turning slightly purple while everyone around complains of the record heat.
Maybe that example helps illustrate the overwhelming sense of displacement I feel everywhere I go: while everyone is miserably hot and sweating, I am freezing to death. My world has tilted and normal has slid off the table like greasy bologna.
This isn't to say that I haven't had a lot of fun while I've been here. It was great seeing all my friends in Denver, going wedding shopping (parts I-III!), hanging out with all my Alleys at the family reunion, being there for the birth of Angelica's third baby, going to baseball games (which both my teams rudely lost), and of course, the epic Pie-fest with the Coblentzs. I've also accomplished a lot of things that needed doing, like stocking up on supplies, buying clothes that actually fit new skinny me, getting my I-130 Petition act together.
But still...I want to go home.
Do I fit any better in Managua than I do in the States? Haha, are you kidding me? I'm a freakishly tall white girl! But it doesn't really matter. My home is a person, my alma gemela. In this disorienting space of trying to deal with reverse culture shock and crazy wedding stress, so often I feel like I'm floundering, but he anchors me to reality. All the things that don't exist for me in Nicaragua - hot showers, caramel lattes, personal safety - retreat down the rankings of importance.
On Wedding Plans:
Some of you may be wondering how the wedding plans are going. Well, I will tell you: I am also wondering that thing. As it turns out, I am only marginally involved in the planning effort.
I was under the impression before I left that everything was basically under control. If only I was ever right about anything... About six weeks before the Big Day Eli developed a strong dislike for our plans and started rethinking a few details, specifically: all of them (except his choice of bride). This would have been fine if he were marrying, for example, another man. But he is not; he is marrying a woman who became very grumpy.
It's hard to throttle someone over skype but I gave it a shot.
Fortunately (nine fights later), I remembered that I don't actually HAVE strong opinions about most of the details and there was no compelling reason to continue turning into a drooling, evil-eyed lunatic. So I gave my beloved a list of three things I couldn't live without (#2: you must wear a tie...) and a heartfelt plea not to let anyone decorate with glitter; then I turned him loose. He enlisted the help of one of his brothers and according to my sources, many things of an unspecified yet positive nature have been accomplished. That's right, my wedding is being planned by two straight men.
Yup.
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2 comments:
It is really weird that you're always cold. But hopefully you adjust back to Nic. super easily.
I'm cold right now.
Also, we wanted to let you know that nobody made it farther this year on Mount Moriyama than last year. Even after all their fancy American Ninja Warrior camp training.
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