The Dark Side of Youth Ministry

What's the downside of working with teens? Is it the insane amount of thankless work? Or the emotional drain of constant prayer and worry? Nah, the bad thing about teens is that they are germ factories. One of my kids, whom I love dearly, came to Winter Camp with the flu. Which she generously gave to me. And I would really be mad, except I don't have that kind of energy.

I am dying.

And before you start in on me about being afraid of needles and not getting a flu shot, let me tell you how this is Type A Flu, which, despite its name, was not covered by this year's shot. So all that could have happened if I'd gotten the shot would be me still dying AND $14.99 plus tax poorer. But I think I'm wandering away from my story here.

Being the pale, sickly, former asthmatic that I am, the flu germs immediately set up shop in my lungs. The good news is my constant hacking allowed us an opportunity to try out an ancient (I guess) remedy for cough. My aunt read somewhere that rubbing Vicks VapoRub on your feet will stop you coughing. Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but when I think of the respiratory system, feet don't generally come to mind. But we tried it anyway. Pam rubbed vaporub onto my feet, covered them in socks, and let it sit. I think it actually worked. It would have worked better except I had to take my socks off because...

I barfed on them.

All I was trying to do was take a couple Advil to bring down my fever so I could feel more comfortable. But the second they hit bottom my stomach did some amazing pyrotechnics. Let me tell you what, it sure surprised the heck out of me! I was not prepared. Thus did I barf EVERYWHERE. I puked in my shoes y'all. Not good. It turns out that human puke is much different to clean off the floor than cat puke is.

The moral of this story, gross though it may be, is this: if you have to come into contact with anyone under the age of 20, wear a haz-mat suit.