The Life of Liz

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ~Anne Frank

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Untidy

As I tackle my mountainous to-do list in preparation for moving, I have been working hard to put my affairs in order.  I decided what to do with my remains in the unexpected event of my mortal coil off-shuffling and planned a few rough details for my funeral.  {On a side note: misspelling "cremated" as "creamated" really freaks people out. For the record, I would not like to be blended...}  I am also appointing a Power of Attorney and getting my car situation straightened out.  Apparently there are just loads and loads of legal and financial considerations to plow through and tidy.

My personal affairs, on the other hand, aren't so simple.  I thought, possibly because I am stupid, that I could bring everything to a satisfying end, or a least a stopping point.  Every relationship could be tied up in a nice neat package, and we could all go our separate ways having reached a good place spiritually, ecumenically... grammatically (to quote Captain Jack Sparrow).

"How can someone so smart be so consistently wrong about everything?" - Josh Limon, on The West Wing

Sigh. 

Nothing works out like you think it should.  Complex relationships never simply genuflect to the obvious considerations of time or space and simplify themselves; they just stubbornly remain complex.  I'm beginning to believe there is no such thing as closure.  There is only the endless ebb and flow of love, compromise and annoyance. 

What I want is for broken things to be fixed so they won't follow me around the globe like ankle-biting corgis.  People seem to blissfully ignore the sense of urgency I have to finish everything so I can start fresh.  I have a time-line, dammit! Get in a row, you stupid ducks!

But, it doesn't work like that.  In reality, you just pack your baggage into your luggage to be sorted through in its own time, not yours. 

3 comments:

Maeve's Momma December 8, 2010 at 12:53:00 PM MST  

love your quotes. And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

John December 8, 2010 at 3:58:00 PM MST  

Reminded me of:

Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It’s not a cry you can hear at night
It’s not somebody who has seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

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A brand new mom trying to navigate the crazy world of mixed families, babies, and working full time. Phew! Just writing that makes me want to lie down.

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